You Know You're a Redneck if...

...there's a bull loose in your neighborhood. Yesterday I was getting ready to go walking and just as I started down the driveway I was met by a sheriff. He promptly warned me that there was a bull running loose in the neighborhood. After telling him I didn't know anyone around me that owns a bull, I decided that a loose bull was all the more reason to go walking. I wanted to get out and gawk like the rest of the neighborhood. Sure enough, just as I rounded the corner I saw a group of people standing in the road, slowly backing up as this huge bull ran across the road, bucking his hind legs as he went. Apparently bulls do not like to be corralled by a sheriff's car and two men yelling and waving their arms. Add a group of gawkers and a barking dog, and let the circus ensue. The bull never did go into the gate that the men were trying so hard to direct him into, but he did run up and down the road and across lawns, the sheriff following him all the way in his car. As the sheriff plowed over people's lawns, he would yell, "Sorry," to those of us gathered to watch the show. It was amusing to watch him weave around the trees and flower boxes as he tried to herd the spooked animal. Eventually the sheriff got the bull cornered and the show was over, but that had to be one of the most interesting walks I've ever taken. Maybe you're not a redneck if there's a bull running loose in your neighborhood, but you're certainly not city folk.