Current Annoyances

As all things seem to come in threes, here are my current annoyances, in no particular order. Please don't be offended or think that I am in an angry mood. I'm just letting out some steam.

1) My Cat: Not only does he think he is entitled to stay in the house, but he also thinks that my bed is actually his bed. And because it's his bed, it naturally follows that he is entitled to sleep in the middle, leaving no room for anyone else. In an attempt to reclaim my territory I have repeatedly locked him out, only to be subjected to his scratching and meowing throughout the night. When he's crafty enough to sneak into my room, he has managed destroy my property. Most recently, he clawed a hole in my new fish-net stockings while cat-napping on his bed, I mean my bed.

2) Natural Gas Rigs: The once-quite countryside has been invaded by an army of natural gas rigs. They are noisy, they are always running, and they are as bright as a stadium. Most unwelcome is the sound of semi-trucks gearing up and the high-pitched noise of bending metal. I am thankful that these unwelcome strangers in my neighborhood are only temporary.

3) Prepositions: Despite my conscious effort to quit ending sentences in prepositions, I can't stop asking things like "where did that come from," or "where is it at." This has got to be one of the worst rules in English grammar. Who really says, "From where did you get that?" It sounds so proper; too proper.

The Phantom of Pharts

Sunday Chris and I went to see The Phantom of the Opera at Music Hall in Fair Park. Around 5 in the afternoon I decided I wanted to wear a new shirt, and realized I needed some new shoes to go with it. This wouldn't have been a big deal except that we were supposed to leave my house at 6:30. So I rushed into town and did some Kamikaze shoe shopping...and found some really cute brown shoes. I guess women can shop like men, but only when they're under extreme pressure. Chris showed up to my house almost half an hour early, which would have been fine had I not made a last minute run to town. As it was though, I was downstairs ironing, wearing lounge pants and a bra when he knocked on the door; needless to say I had to get dressed faster than I expected. The evening was like a real date, which is something we really don't do that often anymore. If we're dressed up and going somewhere together, odds are we're probably going to church. Chris brought me a rose, he had cleaned his car and was all dressed up too; it was fun and it felt like some of our first dates. The show was really great. Even Chris liked it and he hates musicals. The staging, costumes, choreography, sets and special effects were really cool. And I really loved the seamless scene transitions. The replications of the Paris Opera house were cool too, and very authentic. All of the pyrotechnics were an added bonus, some of which really startled me. Our seats were at the very front of our section, so in front of us was a wide walkway. That was nice because we didn't have any big hair in front on us and we had plenty of room to stretch our legs. During the intermission/interval I was watching the people coming back to their seats when I noticed this one strange guy. He was a young guy, dressed real nice. He walked up the aisle, turned onto the walkway in front of our seats, paced back and forth for a couple of seconds and then went back down the aisle to where he came from. I was thinking to myself, "what is he doing?" Almost instantly Chris and I looked at each other and started laughing. This terrible body odor started moving across our row. The girls next to us started laughing and waving their playbill to fan the awful smell. Excuse my crude language, but that guy pulled a drive-by-farting. It was pretty funny, especially considering the environment.

All Washed Out

What a dreary weekend. It rained, and then it rained, and then it poured, and then it rained some more. The weather guy said we got more rain this weekend than we got in the last six months. I usaully don't trust weather men, however I figure they can't mess up when they're reporting what is currently happening or what has happened. I guess I'll beleive the weather man this time, but I'm still weary of his five-day forcast with a two-day bonus...there's just too much room for error when trying to predict a week into the future.

Trip to the Big Blue

Are you ready to hear about my exciting spring break excursion? This morning Fred, Ashley, Chris and I piled into the car and set in for a long drive...well, not that long. It's not like we drove to the coast or to Panama City or anything, but we did drive all the way to Ikea! Ikea...that gynormous blue building that was all the rage when it first opened. I know it's not the typical way for a college student to spend spring break, but I have a big trip to New York City coming up that is going to cost a lot. I have to make sacrifices now so that later I can really live it up. And besides, Ikea was pretty cool. It's huge and there is so much stuff inside. After the first two hours I was suffering from shopper's overload; too much stuff, not enough brain to remember it all. It's a great place for ideas or to just look around. I bought some blinds. Chris bought a chair, a table and a lamp. Speaking of lamps, they have a ton of them. They have table lamps, floor lamps, hanging lamps, and lamps that are mounted on the wall. They have paper lamps, plastic lamps, glass lamps, metal lamps, and all kinds of combinations. They have round lamps, square lamps, and every shape in between, including lamps with octopus arms. All in all, it was a good trip. I can't wait until I have a whole house to decorate.

My Bad Cat

My cat is really the spawn of satan...he is so mischievous. I don't like to let him in the house because he always gets on the kitchen counters, sleeps on the dinner table and likes to dig through the trash. Whenever I make him stay outside, he sits outside my bedroom window and tries to claw his way through the screen...thus the reason I no longer have a screen on the window. Last night it was so hot in my room that I cracked the window open to let in some cool air. Within in 10 minutes my cat was sitting on the window sill trying to squeeze through the little crack in the window. Of course his head was too big, but he kept turning it different directions trying to make it fit. Then he started sticking his paws through, knocking around the vase I had sitting on the window sill, trying to get my attention. I blame him for having to get up and close the window and sleep in a hot room last night. He's a bad cat.

Blonde Moments and More Inappropriate Things

Let me just preface this with the following: I consider myself to be an intelligent person. I generally do well in matters concerning my education, my personal integrity and my general well being. However, there are times when my mind slips into "blonde mode," which usually results in some degree of embarrassment.

That said, yesterday I went to the bank on my lunch break to set up my new checking account and order my new checks, blah, blah, blah. It took almost my entire lunch hour. I was left with only a few minutes to run into Arby's and get something that I could eat at the office. In an attempt to save time and energy, I decided to leave my purse in the car and take only my money and my keys inside with me. As the girl behind the counter asked me if my order was "for here or to go," I glanced down at my keys and instinctively replied "OH MY GOSH!" Of course the girl behind the counter didn't understand my response to her question, but I did. Upon glancing at my keys, I realized that I had taken my office keys into Arby's and had left my car keys (insert long pause) in the car. This was one of my blonde moments. I had locked my keys in the car. To make matters worse, my phone was in the car too. It sucked, especially because there was no spare key. I got a ride back to work and spent half hour calling locksmiths for the best deal. The locksmith I found was pretty reasonable, although a little shady. I guess you get what you pay for. The whole transaction, which took less than 5 minutes, had an under-the-counter feel to it. When the guy got out of the truck, the first thing that struck me was the abnormally large size of his arms and neck. I told Chris (my ride and knight in shining armor) that it looked like he was going to use sheer force to get the car open. But he turned out to be a pretty cool guy...he even showed us how to make our own slim- jim out of a bucket handle and how to use it to unlock car doors. That will surely come in handy if I ever decide to pursue a career in auto theft.

On a less embarrassing note, my normally uneventful and mundane sophomore literature class had some drama today. Seriously, this professor reminds me of Bob Ross sometimes. Anyhoo, This one guy who hasn't come to class since the first week of school showed up today. I guess he thinks that he can skip seven weeks of class, and an exam, and still get by. Whatever. The only reason I know that he stopped coming to class is because he is extremely annoying. He constantly interrupts the professor to make stupid remarks, even when the professor is visibly irritated with him. He has no sense of decency. Today, he showed up late and interrupted the professor as he entered the class room to make some stupid remark. He was carrying like ten different bags....so it was an interruption just getting to his seat. And then it started....his constant interruption. After only 3 or 4 minutes, the professor started scolding him. All similarities to Bob Ross disappeared, and he got down-right ugly. But this stupid guy, instead of just listening, started arguing with the professor. He actually told the professor that he didn't "like his attitude." The professor did not like this, and promptly asked him to leave. He left, but it took a few minutes to gather all his bags, and the whole time he was getting his stuff together this student was cussing at the professor about how he doesn't have to take this and how he was going to see the dean right then. Then, to make himself look worse, this guy asked the professor what his name was...I guess you wouldn't know if you never went to class. Everyone in the room just sat there and silently stared at their desk-tops. To top it all off, this guy stood outside the door and gave the professor the finger through the window. I have never seen anything like that happen in class. Try paying attention to a discussion on romantic poetry after an even like that...impossible.

My New ID and Other Inappropriate Things

Last week I had a new school ID made. All students have to get a new ID because when you get the new ID, the computer also assigns a new student ID number. It's all a part of the school trying to move away from using social security numbers. All of this is very boring and undeserving of mention in a blog, however it does explain why I went to the Mav Express office in the first place. So I went to get my new ID. My old ID was awful. I remember when I had it done. It was my first year at UTA and I made sure that I wore something cute and that my hair was fixed. Well, the ID machine wasn't working very well that day and my picture came out really light...seriously, I look like a ghost. You can't even tell what I'm wearing or that my hair was fixed, much less that I even have hair. It was a terrible let down at the time. The new ID experience was not much different from the first. I woke up early that morning, although not by choice this time; it was one of those really annoying nights where you wake up at four in the morning and can't go back to sleep. On the upside, this gave me plenty of time to actually do something with my hair other than a pony tail. I think I looked cute. Even the guy working in the office thought I looked cute, actually his exact words, spoken in an indian accent, were "you are very pretty." He was totally hitting on me the whole time I was in there. It took forever for my ID to print, mainly because it jammed up the machine. This made me question the "you are very pretty" remark and think more along the lines of "breaking the camera." At the time it seemed very ironic, however now it seems less so. But I got my new ID, and my picture looks much better...I look alive.

On a more interesting note, Saturday night Chris and I went to see a live performance of the Vagina Monologues with Ashley and Fred. :O What an adventure. Chris immediatley took note of the "liberal" audience, which was mainly female, although he was much more keen to sticking around when two lesbians kissed right in front of us. He also found amusement in wearig an "I love Vaginas" button on the crouch of his jeans. I didn't have any idea what the Vagina Monologues were going to be about, but after seeing it I would say that the title is very fitting. It's basically about the compelxity of the Vagina, which made me wonder if there could be a male-counterpart about the complexity of the penis? As for that, I have my own opinion but ultimately I would have to say that organ is out of my area of expertise. Anyhoo, the whole thing was pretty entertaining. It takes a special level of comfort to get up infront of a big group and talk so bluntly about vaginas. I on the other hand, couldn't help but blush as I explained it to my coworkers yesterday. And just for the record, I strongly dislike the words for male and female private parts that I used so freely in this blog. I would never say them to any of you out loud...if I did I would turn 10 different shades of red.