Wal-Mart

Yesterday I went to Wal-Mart to buy gas and had another one of those experiences that made me feel like I'm living in the future. It was kind of like the feeling I got the first time I saw one of those billboards in the mall that periodically changes advertisements. I know I saw that in a futuristic movie 15 years ago, only the movie version was much more impressive than the mall version, which is nothing more than a continuous roll of poster paper attached to rollers and a motor. Only slightly more impressive are people movers. A couple of summers ago I discovered these flat escalators that effortlessly move people along long corridors in airports or subway stations. People movers totally look like something from an outdated futuristic movie. Ironically, the mechanics of these people movers are strikingly kin to the futuristic changing billboard…

But back to my trip to Wal-Mart. This was not the first time I had a strange futuristic feeling while at America's big-box store. I can recall one occasion that I was actually reminded of the book 1984 as I stood in line to check-out. My extreme frugality however keeps me coming back despite this unflattering comparison. Last night I learned that my local Wal-Mart gas station has officially moved into the new millennium. Gone are the boring gas pumps designed for the sole purpose of pumping gas. Those outdate models have been upgraded to an attention grabbing entertainment center. The pump was plastered in advertisements. There was even an advertisement attached to the rubber hose that connects the nozzle to the pump. Attached to the left side of the pump was a small electronic vending machine. The tiny screen displayed different gasoline upgrade options that could be purchased by simply pushing one of the colorful buttons to left. I was so distracted by all of the busy ads placed conveniently at eye level that I almost missed the T.V. above the pump. Wal-Mart may be accused of skimping out on employee benefits but they cannot be accused of skimping out when it comes to entertaining their customers while pumping gas. As I stood there watching the local news I couldn't help but think that the only thing that would complete this experience was a news story about the high price of gas, or maybe an advertisement for a fuel efficient car. Now that I think of it, maybe the T.V. was a blessing in disguise. For a split second, as I watched a boy fall off a diving board during an advertisement for the next episode of America's Funniest Home Videos, I forgot that the gas pump in front of me was eating away at what little money I have in my bank account.

Night at the Moview

A couple of weeks ago I went to see Night at the Museum. As I sat in the theater waiting for the movie to start I gave into the tempting advertisements for the concession stand. The concession stand line was really long and I almost went back to my seat, not willing to stand in such a long line, but my craving for Raisenettes was too much to ignore. I got in line behind a man with 7 kids; 5 girls and 2 boys. The five girls looked like they were 8 or 9 years old and the two boys didn't look much younger. The man was asking each of the kids what kind of Icee they wanted and trying to keep a mental tab of how many "brown" Icees and how many "red" icees he needed in all. Each time he finished asking however, he always had more or less than seven total. I observed the problem right away. The kids kept moving around and changing places so that by the time he got to the end of the group, he had either missed someone or counted someone twice. The situation was further aggravated by the boy at the end who never knew what he wanted, and kept asking for nachos instead, which apparently was not an option. At one point the man tried to make the kids stand in a line, however the girls were distracted when another group of girls about the same age walked by dressed like those trashy looking Bratz Dolls. The five girls in front of me quickly broke out of the line and formed a huddle where they commenced to say things like, "Did you see what they were wearing?" or "Can you believe they get to wear that much make-up?" Noticing the natrual male-female separation, the man decided to take two seperate talleys. He appionted one girl to figure out what all the other girls wanted. It took the girls a while to decide, mainly because they were still gossiping about the other slutty looking girls (and they did look slutty). The man kept having to redirect their attention to the Icees. As this was going on, one of the little boys was running around the man asking him if he could be in charge of what the boys wanted. Finally the girls decided on 2 red icees and three brown icees and boys gave their order, just in time for the man's turn at the counter. Clearly proud of his accomplishment, he stepped up to the counter and proceeded to ask for 3 brown icees and 4 red icees, however before he could even finish his sentence the guy behind the counter cut him off, telling him taht the Icee machine was broken. The man didn't say anything. He turned and walked away with all the kids trailing behind him asking why they didn't get any icees. I couldn't help but laugh. I hope that man learned that next time he takes 7 kids to the movies he should just get them all the same thing and forget about asking each one what they want.