Target

Due to an unfortunate nationwide malfunction with the Target wedding registry, Chris and I received quite a few duplicates at my wedding shower a few weeks ago. Knowing that I didn't have gift receipts for all of the duplicates and that Target requires a receipt for returns, I knew that convincing the local Lubbock Target to correct for the nationwide mistake could require some forcefulness on my part. Preparing for a fight, Chris and I emptied the trunk of my car and made our way to the customer service counter. As it turned out, the deficient returns were the least of our problems. The problem was our lovely toaster oven, meticulously selected for its unique proportions, exquisite color, and modest size. Upon unpacking the toaster oven, we realized the little baking tray that fits perfectly inside it was bent to the point of uselessness. So we loaded it in the trunk with our extra shower curtain, two mixers, two sets of Pyrex bake ware and two sequence games.

The lady who got in line just behind us at that Target customer service counter instantly became inpatient upon hearing me explain that we did not have receipts for our huge cart of returns. She began gripping at the man working the customer service and continued to complain to other customers in a loud and offensive tone the whole time we were there. Luckily, the man behind the counter knew exactly how to do our returns, and after crediting us for the duplicate merchandise, we began to ask the man what we could do about the toaster oven and the bent tray. The grumpy lady behind us commenced to complain more as he explained our options. In an effort to streamline the process, we told the man behind the counter to just return the toaster oven and we would use the money to buy a replacement from the shelves. The whole transaction, from start to finish, took no more than five minutes. The lady behind us was just a grouch.

Leaving the customer service counter, we were glad to get away from that grouchy lady. We were not glad; however, to discover that our good taste in toaster oven preference is shared by others. The only toaster oven like the one we wanted was the display model. Not wanting to purchase the display model, we removed the tray and returned to the customer service counter. Thankfully, the grouchy lady had moved-on, presumably to complain to other people about insignificant annoyances. Not so thankfully, our friendly, competent, helpful customer service man had gone home. We explained to the new guy that we had just returned the toaster oven behind him and that we wanted to take it home with the tray from the display model. He replied by telling us that the display model was not for sale. "No," we said, "We don't want to buy the display model; we just want to take the little tray out of it." He said the display wasn't real and that we could not have it. Again, we explained that we did not want the display model; we only wanted the little tray. He said we could not have the little tray because it was not real. At this point Chris held up the tray and waved it around and said, "Yes, it is real, see, here it is." But the tangible proof was not good enough; the tray was not real, therefore we could not have it. As we returned the "fake" tray to the display model, Chris decided that we were going to go home with our toaster oven and a good baking tray. He went back to the customer service counter and told the guy that we wanted our toaster back since there was no replacement. After a serious complication about how to do this since we didn't have a receipt, which involved frustrating the new manager on duty and attempting to call the man who had helped us, we finally got our toaster oven back. Then, as I walked over to the checkout lines to pay for the rest of our stuff, Chris took our bent tray to trade it out for the "fake" one in the display model. As Chris pushed the cart out the doors with our toaster oven on top, and the new baking tray thrown haphazardly inside it, the little baking tray slid out of the box and onto the floor, as if to say, "don't take me..." Chris was determined though; he grabbed the tray and quickly exited the store not looking back.

And now that we have our toaster oven and a good tray, I'm sure the tray will work fine, even though it's "not real."