Yesterday

I wake up with a frizzy mess of hair and immediately go to the shower, but there's no hot water. I wait an hour - still no hot water. There's no hot water in the entire building - only frigid ice water. We're not going to church due to our unclean state and our general disdain for 40 degree showers, so I decide to make a hot breakfast, only I burn the biscuits. We eat our hot and some what charred breakfast and then turn to the kitchen. It's a nightmare - dishes everywhere, week-old beans fermenting in the fridge, food spilling out of the cabinet. We clean out the beans as a team but the smell still makes me gag. I boil some water for the dirty dishes, which Chris spills on the floor. I then spill dry pasta in the puddle of hot water – It’s like we’re cooking pasta on the floor. Chris washes dishes for ten minutes and then breaks a cup in his hand. He pretends to pass out from the blood. I help him get dressed while he keeps pressure on his wound and then we're off to the emergency clinic. We sit in the waiting room an hour, during which time the bleeding stops and we learn how to transform an ugly backyard into an oasis on HGTV. Finally, they call Chris' name. Chris gets five stitches across his right pinky knuckle and I watch. The doctor says he will throw away the little metal tweezers, scissors, and forceps used to sew Chris together, so Chris asks if he can keep them; I laugh, but when we leave we're carrying a red biohazard bag full of shiny instruments wrapped in a bloody paper towel. Back to the apartment where a kitchen full of dishes remains largely untouched, only now my dishwasher is out of commission and our boiling water is cold. I boil more water and then wash dishes for an hour. I finally check the time - Only 3:00!?!?!? Can we go back to bed and start this day over?