Yesterday I was changing Katy's diaper when she made me laugh for the first time. She was awake but contently staring at a banner on the wall above her changing pad when she suddenly began crying loudly as if in immense pain. As I searched for the cause of the pain, the crying became screams interrupted by brief gasps for air. Then I found it. Katy had grabbed a fistful of her own hair and began pulling on it when her wiry arms began moving in their normal, uncontrollable fashion. The pain caused by the uncontrollable movement of her arms caused her to cry, which caused her arms to flail more uncontrollably, which caused her to pull her fistful of hair harder, which caused her to scream louder, which caused her arms to flail even more, which caused a quickly escalating, unknowing, self-inflicted cycle of pain, crying, and screaming. Not until I pried the ball of hair out of Katy's tightly clenched fist did she relax and resume staring at the wall.
Life is rough when you can't control your own arms or understand how to stop hurting yourself.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Hot Air Balloon Nursery
Chris and I finished Baby's K's room the evening I went into labor. I remember lying in the bath tub while my uterus contracted, listening to Chris hang book shelves in Baby K's room. Luckily, Baby K could care less that we finished the room at the last minute. In fact, she doesn't seem to appreciate the yellow, grey, and white color scheme or the hot air balloon theme nearly as much as I do. I guess that much was to be expected.
Baby K is only two weeks old and already she has been showered with several pink gifts. At this rate, it's only a matter of time before the girly pinks overtake the room.
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| A panoramic view. |
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| Wreath on the door to her room. |
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| One of Chris' favorites. |
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| A very close family friend made the organizer on the wall. |
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| Doug would love to get his teeth on the rubber duck. |
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| If I can't have an Eames rocker, I'll settle for tiny Eames elephants. |
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| Chris found the awesome dresser, and I splurged on the chair. I spend a lot of time in this chair! |
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| Balloons made from paper lanterns. |
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| A baby bowl I used when I was a baby serves as a catchall next to my nursing chair. |
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| Can't have too many books! |
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My dad refinished the cradle, and Chris painted the
book shelves.
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| DIY rag banner turned out so cute! |
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| I made the mobile, and my mom made the blanket on the cradle. |
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| My mom and I sewed the curtains. |
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| I love goats, so naturally I love this hamper! |
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| Tiny baby clothes are sooo cute! |
Welcome to the World Baby K
Baby Sias is here! She (it's a girl!) entered the world two weeks ago, measuring 20 inches long and weighing 7 lbs., 14 oz.
In preparation for Baby K's arrival, Chris and I took birth classes designed to train couples in natural child birth. Deep down inside, I desired a natural, unmedicated child birth but was afraid to admit this fact for fear I would fail, disappoint myself, and cause others to say, "I told you it would be too hard."
The birth classes featured interviews with mothers who successfully birthed their babies without medical intervention. These mothers spoke of how the birthing process was a beautiful and empowering experience. Although I understood how it might be empowering to endure what I expected to be the most difficult experience of my life, I doubted it could be beautiful as well. Several artistically edited birth videos shown during the birth classes did not convince me otherwise. Still, I desired a natural birth because of the complications that medical interventions can bring.
As a result of our birth classes, I hired a doula, drafted a birth plan, and switched to a new doctor. The doula emphasized relaxation techniques, and the birth plan forced me to commit to what I desired. My new physician welcomed the presence of my doula, expected a birth plan, and openly answered my questions.
Despite all of our preparation, however, I was still nervous about the unknown. Then, one morning I woke at 4:30 to stronger than normal Braxton-Hicks contractions. I visited my doctor, who informed me that it could still be days until the baby arrived. Without confirmation that I was in labor, I worked all day and ran some errands in the evening. In hindsight, I believe I entered early labor while I was at work and began active labor sometime around 8:00 p.m. At the time, however, I thought the contractions were merely false labor because in my mind they were too manageable to be actual labor.
By the time Chris started timing around midnight, my contractions were approximately four minutes apart. Less than three hours later, my water broke. We were at the hospital by 3 a.m., and I was relieved to learn that I was already between 5 and 6 centimeters dilated. I began mentally preparing myself for several hours of intense labor and pushing. I never expected Baby K to enter the world less than four hours later.
Consistent with the desires spelled out in my birth plan, I was able to labor free from fetal monitors and an IV. This allowed me to move around rather than be confined to lying on my back in a hospital bed, a very uncomfortable labor position for me. The doula made sure the lights were dimmed and my music was playing, which transformed the sterile hospital room into a calm environment. The doula recognized that I was experiencing back labor and recommended a labor position that turned out to be invaluable. The doula made sure I stayed hydrated and comfortable in warm socks and my own gown. The doula took the pressure off Chris to do and remember everything, which allowed him to focus on supporting me during contractions. The doula was invaluable.
Chris provided amazing support through positive encouragement and quick responses to my directions for counter-pressure during contractions. As we labored together, I kept waiting for transition labor, the point at which I imagined the pain would become unbearable, I would lose control, and I would utter our code word for "give me an epidural." That point, however, never came. Instead, it became impossible to relax through the contractions and I finally told Chris, "I think it's time to push." It turns out my instinct was right - I was dilated to ten centimeters and the baby was in position to come out.
Once it was time to push, the room filled with medical staff and equipment. Despite the flutter of activity, however, the room remained quiet and dimly lit. I recall the nurses quietly standing, watching, and waiting. The doula later informed me that when the nurses attempted to make small talk, the doctor quietly waived his finger to cut them off. I recall the respectful demeanor of the doctor, who sat patiently at the side of the bed with his legs crossed, quietly rocking to the music between contractions, and gently assuring me that I was making progress as I pushed. I recall the doula instructing me on how to effectively push, and the doctor calmly suggesting that I listen to the doula's instruction. I recall focusing on the songs playing between contractions and talking through the immense pressure on my lower body. I recall telling Chris between contractions that it hurt not to push. The doula and doctor immediately smiled and nodded in agreement, a small but powerful affirmation that I was doing something right.
After about half an hour of pushing harder than I ever imagined possible, Baby K entered the world. Chris announced Baby K's gender, and she was immediately placed on my chest, newborn goo and all. The rush of emotions and adrenaline that followed the final push and my first contact with Baby K was amazing.
Birthing Baby K was an extremely positive experience. Was it hard? Heck yeah! I had a face full of popped blood vessels and a body full of sore muscles to prove it. Was it painful? Of course! What woman doesn't dead menstrual cramps on speed and the infamous ring of fire? The pain was manageable, however, thanks to Chris' support, a knowledgeable doula, the right medical staff, and our birthing classes. I now know that with the right preparation, birthing a baby can be an empowering and beautiful experience.
I owe a huge thank you to Nicole Hoff, our birth doula; Dr. Lee, the OB/GYN; and Chris, a wonderfully supportive husband. Chris and I also owe a huge thank you to the staff at the hospital, who were so accommodating when Baby K had to stay longer than I did. Praise God for surrounding me with the right people and most importantly, praise God for a healthy baby girl.
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| Baby K just a few hours old. |
The birth classes featured interviews with mothers who successfully birthed their babies without medical intervention. These mothers spoke of how the birthing process was a beautiful and empowering experience. Although I understood how it might be empowering to endure what I expected to be the most difficult experience of my life, I doubted it could be beautiful as well. Several artistically edited birth videos shown during the birth classes did not convince me otherwise. Still, I desired a natural birth because of the complications that medical interventions can bring.
As a result of our birth classes, I hired a doula, drafted a birth plan, and switched to a new doctor. The doula emphasized relaxation techniques, and the birth plan forced me to commit to what I desired. My new physician welcomed the presence of my doula, expected a birth plan, and openly answered my questions.
 |
| Measuring my belly at the church baby shower the day before I went into labor. |
By the time Chris started timing around midnight, my contractions were approximately four minutes apart. Less than three hours later, my water broke. We were at the hospital by 3 a.m., and I was relieved to learn that I was already between 5 and 6 centimeters dilated. I began mentally preparing myself for several hours of intense labor and pushing. I never expected Baby K to enter the world less than four hours later.
Consistent with the desires spelled out in my birth plan, I was able to labor free from fetal monitors and an IV. This allowed me to move around rather than be confined to lying on my back in a hospital bed, a very uncomfortable labor position for me. The doula made sure the lights were dimmed and my music was playing, which transformed the sterile hospital room into a calm environment. The doula recognized that I was experiencing back labor and recommended a labor position that turned out to be invaluable. The doula made sure I stayed hydrated and comfortable in warm socks and my own gown. The doula took the pressure off Chris to do and remember everything, which allowed him to focus on supporting me during contractions. The doula was invaluable.
Chris provided amazing support through positive encouragement and quick responses to my directions for counter-pressure during contractions. As we labored together, I kept waiting for transition labor, the point at which I imagined the pain would become unbearable, I would lose control, and I would utter our code word for "give me an epidural." That point, however, never came. Instead, it became impossible to relax through the contractions and I finally told Chris, "I think it's time to push." It turns out my instinct was right - I was dilated to ten centimeters and the baby was in position to come out.
Once it was time to push, the room filled with medical staff and equipment. Despite the flutter of activity, however, the room remained quiet and dimly lit. I recall the nurses quietly standing, watching, and waiting. The doula later informed me that when the nurses attempted to make small talk, the doctor quietly waived his finger to cut them off. I recall the respectful demeanor of the doctor, who sat patiently at the side of the bed with his legs crossed, quietly rocking to the music between contractions, and gently assuring me that I was making progress as I pushed. I recall the doula instructing me on how to effectively push, and the doctor calmly suggesting that I listen to the doula's instruction. I recall focusing on the songs playing between contractions and talking through the immense pressure on my lower body. I recall telling Chris between contractions that it hurt not to push. The doula and doctor immediately smiled and nodded in agreement, a small but powerful affirmation that I was doing something right.
After about half an hour of pushing harder than I ever imagined possible, Baby K entered the world. Chris announced Baby K's gender, and she was immediately placed on my chest, newborn goo and all. The rush of emotions and adrenaline that followed the final push and my first contact with Baby K was amazing.
Birthing Baby K was an extremely positive experience. Was it hard? Heck yeah! I had a face full of popped blood vessels and a body full of sore muscles to prove it. Was it painful? Of course! What woman doesn't dead menstrual cramps on speed and the infamous ring of fire? The pain was manageable, however, thanks to Chris' support, a knowledgeable doula, the right medical staff, and our birthing classes. I now know that with the right preparation, birthing a baby can be an empowering and beautiful experience.
I owe a huge thank you to Nicole Hoff, our birth doula; Dr. Lee, the OB/GYN; and Chris, a wonderfully supportive husband. Chris and I also owe a huge thank you to the staff at the hospital, who were so accommodating when Baby K had to stay longer than I did. Praise God for surrounding me with the right people and most importantly, praise God for a healthy baby girl.
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| Baby K, two days old. |
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