Black Friday

This year I participated in Black Friday for the first time. I was awake and driving to Kohl's before the sun came up. I then stood in line for 30 minutes so that I could spend $12.98. This was exhausting and required an unhealthy breakfast from McDonald's. According to the old man I met at McDonald's, the breakfast crowd was larger than usual. He then showed my shopping buddies and I pictures of his new horse trailer. I have no idea how to judge a trailer, especially when displayed on a small cell phone screen, but I tried to act genuinely impressed. Upon leaving McDonald's, my friend Ryan made a comment Chris often makes about how I talk to random people.

Next stop: the mall. I tried on a white sweater at Gap only to find that it left a million little pieces of white lint on my black shirt. As we were leaving Gap, an annoying kiosk salesman approached us. I quickly asked for a lint brush. Surprisingly, he led me to a kiosk drawer that contained nothing but two lint brushes. I used his lint brush but then had to endure his lengthy and irritating sales pitch, even though I told him I was only using him for his lint brush. He asked for my name. I replied, "Marsha." After refusing to pay $80 for his cuticle cream and buffer, we moved on, lint free.

After flying through the mall, we headed to Best Buy. I do not like Best Buy on a normal day. I really do not like Best Buy on Black Friday.

Finally, we get to DSW. Oh shoe heaven, I would have enjoyed you more if Mike wasn't calling me. To make a long story short, "Mike" found a friend's "lost" cell phone at K-Mart, changed the ringer, and then turned it off. Later on, once he was at the mall, he decided the cell phone owner might want the phone back. That's when Mike called me and I became the negotiator for the return of a cell phone that was either lost or was stolen by someone with a conscience.

I left DSW at noon and retired from Black Friday, at least for the day and possibly for life.