365

Three hundred and sixty five days ago, I was pregnant.  I woke up at 4 a.m. to signs of pre-labor.  I could not go back to sleep.  I laid in the dark on the living room couch listening to the sounds of the waking birds.  I went to the doctor and then to work.  I told my boss I was not going to make it to my due date.  The false contractions were now starting in my back and traveling to my abdomen.  It would be several days until I realized that these were not false contractions.  I ate lunch by myself at a restaurant, ignoring the tightening in my abdomen and pondering the fact that no one could tell what I was hiding.  After lunch, I organized my desk and my case files.  I was nesting.  In the evening, I ran errands.  As I stood in line at a store, I wished for the line to move faster because I felt as though I could not stand much longer.  I convinced Chris to cancel our dinner plans.  I really wanted to put away the gifts from the baby shower the day before.  I was still nesting.  I called my mom and my doula.  No one concluded that I was in labor.  I took a bath.  I shaved my legs.  I could not sleep.   Chris went to the store for sleep aids.  At 11 p.m., I started timing contractions.  Less than five minutes apart and Chris was still at the store?!?!?!? Six hours later, I was a mom.

Three hundred and sixty five days ago, I went into labor at work and didn't even realize it.