Yesterday I was changing Katy's diaper when she made me laugh for the first time. She was awake but contently staring at a banner on the wall above her changing pad when she suddenly began crying loudly as if in immense pain. As I searched for the cause of the pain, the crying became screams interrupted by brief gasps for air. Then I found it. Katy had grabbed a fistful of her own hair and began pulling on it when her wiry arms began moving in their normal, uncontrollable fashion. The pain caused by the uncontrollable movement of her arms caused her to cry, which caused her arms to flail more uncontrollably, which caused her to pull her fistful of hair harder, which caused her to scream louder, which caused her arms to flail even more, which caused a quickly escalating, unknowing, self-inflicted cycle of pain, crying, and screaming. Not until I pried the ball of hair out of Katy's tightly clenched fist did she relax and resume staring at the wall.
Life is rough when you can't control your own arms or understand how to stop hurting yourself.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Hot Air Balloon Nursery
Chris and I finished Baby's K's room the evening I went into labor. I remember lying in the bath tub while my uterus contracted, listening to Chris hang book shelves in Baby K's room. Luckily, Baby K could care less that we finished the room at the last minute. In fact, she doesn't seem to appreciate the yellow, grey, and white color scheme or the hot air balloon theme nearly as much as I do. I guess that much was to be expected.
Baby K is only two weeks old and already she has been showered with several pink gifts. At this rate, it's only a matter of time before the girly pinks overtake the room.
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| A panoramic view. |
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| Wreath on the door to her room. |
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| One of Chris' favorites. |
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| A very close family friend made the organizer on the wall. |
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| Doug would love to get his teeth on the rubber duck. |
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| If I can't have an Eames rocker, I'll settle for tiny Eames elephants. |
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| Chris found the awesome dresser, and I splurged on the chair. I spend a lot of time in this chair! |
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| Balloons made from paper lanterns. |
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| A baby bowl I used when I was a baby serves as a catchall next to my nursing chair. |
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| Can't have too many books! |
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My dad refinished the cradle, and Chris painted the
book shelves.
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| DIY rag banner turned out so cute! |
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| I made the mobile, and my mom made the blanket on the cradle. |
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| My mom and I sewed the curtains. |
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| I love goats, so naturally I love this hamper! |
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| Tiny baby clothes are sooo cute! |
Welcome to the World Baby K
Baby Sias is here! She (it's a girl!) entered the world two weeks ago, measuring 20 inches long and weighing 7 lbs., 14 oz.
In preparation for Baby K's arrival, Chris and I took birth classes designed to train couples in natural child birth. Deep down inside, I desired a natural, unmedicated child birth but was afraid to admit this fact for fear I would fail, disappoint myself, and cause others to say, "I told you it would be too hard."
The birth classes featured interviews with mothers who successfully birthed their babies without medical intervention. These mothers spoke of how the birthing process was a beautiful and empowering experience. Although I understood how it might be empowering to endure what I expected to be the most difficult experience of my life, I doubted it could be beautiful as well. Several artistically edited birth videos shown during the birth classes did not convince me otherwise. Still, I desired a natural birth because of the complications that medical interventions can bring.
As a result of our birth classes, I hired a doula, drafted a birth plan, and switched to a new doctor. The doula emphasized relaxation techniques, and the birth plan forced me to commit to what I desired. My new physician welcomed the presence of my doula, expected a birth plan, and openly answered my questions.
Despite all of our preparation, however, I was still nervous about the unknown. Then, one morning I woke at 4:30 to stronger than normal Braxton-Hicks contractions. I visited my doctor, who informed me that it could still be days until the baby arrived. Without confirmation that I was in labor, I worked all day and ran some errands in the evening. In hindsight, I believe I entered early labor while I was at work and began active labor sometime around 8:00 p.m. At the time, however, I thought the contractions were merely false labor because in my mind they were too manageable to be actual labor.
By the time Chris started timing around midnight, my contractions were approximately four minutes apart. Less than three hours later, my water broke. We were at the hospital by 3 a.m., and I was relieved to learn that I was already between 5 and 6 centimeters dilated. I began mentally preparing myself for several hours of intense labor and pushing. I never expected Baby K to enter the world less than four hours later.
Consistent with the desires spelled out in my birth plan, I was able to labor free from fetal monitors and an IV. This allowed me to move around rather than be confined to lying on my back in a hospital bed, a very uncomfortable labor position for me. The doula made sure the lights were dimmed and my music was playing, which transformed the sterile hospital room into a calm environment. The doula recognized that I was experiencing back labor and recommended a labor position that turned out to be invaluable. The doula made sure I stayed hydrated and comfortable in warm socks and my own gown. The doula took the pressure off Chris to do and remember everything, which allowed him to focus on supporting me during contractions. The doula was invaluable.
Chris provided amazing support through positive encouragement and quick responses to my directions for counter-pressure during contractions. As we labored together, I kept waiting for transition labor, the point at which I imagined the pain would become unbearable, I would lose control, and I would utter our code word for "give me an epidural." That point, however, never came. Instead, it became impossible to relax through the contractions and I finally told Chris, "I think it's time to push." It turns out my instinct was right - I was dilated to ten centimeters and the baby was in position to come out.
Once it was time to push, the room filled with medical staff and equipment. Despite the flutter of activity, however, the room remained quiet and dimly lit. I recall the nurses quietly standing, watching, and waiting. The doula later informed me that when the nurses attempted to make small talk, the doctor quietly waived his finger to cut them off. I recall the respectful demeanor of the doctor, who sat patiently at the side of the bed with his legs crossed, quietly rocking to the music between contractions, and gently assuring me that I was making progress as I pushed. I recall the doula instructing me on how to effectively push, and the doctor calmly suggesting that I listen to the doula's instruction. I recall focusing on the songs playing between contractions and talking through the immense pressure on my lower body. I recall telling Chris between contractions that it hurt not to push. The doula and doctor immediately smiled and nodded in agreement, a small but powerful affirmation that I was doing something right.
After about half an hour of pushing harder than I ever imagined possible, Baby K entered the world. Chris announced Baby K's gender, and she was immediately placed on my chest, newborn goo and all. The rush of emotions and adrenaline that followed the final push and my first contact with Baby K was amazing.
Birthing Baby K was an extremely positive experience. Was it hard? Heck yeah! I had a face full of popped blood vessels and a body full of sore muscles to prove it. Was it painful? Of course! What woman doesn't dead menstrual cramps on speed and the infamous ring of fire? The pain was manageable, however, thanks to Chris' support, a knowledgeable doula, the right medical staff, and our birthing classes. I now know that with the right preparation, birthing a baby can be an empowering and beautiful experience.
I owe a huge thank you to Nicole Hoff, our birth doula; Dr. Lee, the OB/GYN; and Chris, a wonderfully supportive husband. Chris and I also owe a huge thank you to the staff at the hospital, who were so accommodating when Baby K had to stay longer than I did. Praise God for surrounding me with the right people and most importantly, praise God for a healthy baby girl.
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| Baby K just a few hours old. |
The birth classes featured interviews with mothers who successfully birthed their babies without medical intervention. These mothers spoke of how the birthing process was a beautiful and empowering experience. Although I understood how it might be empowering to endure what I expected to be the most difficult experience of my life, I doubted it could be beautiful as well. Several artistically edited birth videos shown during the birth classes did not convince me otherwise. Still, I desired a natural birth because of the complications that medical interventions can bring.
As a result of our birth classes, I hired a doula, drafted a birth plan, and switched to a new doctor. The doula emphasized relaxation techniques, and the birth plan forced me to commit to what I desired. My new physician welcomed the presence of my doula, expected a birth plan, and openly answered my questions.
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| Measuring my belly at the church baby shower the day before I went into labor. |
By the time Chris started timing around midnight, my contractions were approximately four minutes apart. Less than three hours later, my water broke. We were at the hospital by 3 a.m., and I was relieved to learn that I was already between 5 and 6 centimeters dilated. I began mentally preparing myself for several hours of intense labor and pushing. I never expected Baby K to enter the world less than four hours later.
Consistent with the desires spelled out in my birth plan, I was able to labor free from fetal monitors and an IV. This allowed me to move around rather than be confined to lying on my back in a hospital bed, a very uncomfortable labor position for me. The doula made sure the lights were dimmed and my music was playing, which transformed the sterile hospital room into a calm environment. The doula recognized that I was experiencing back labor and recommended a labor position that turned out to be invaluable. The doula made sure I stayed hydrated and comfortable in warm socks and my own gown. The doula took the pressure off Chris to do and remember everything, which allowed him to focus on supporting me during contractions. The doula was invaluable.
Chris provided amazing support through positive encouragement and quick responses to my directions for counter-pressure during contractions. As we labored together, I kept waiting for transition labor, the point at which I imagined the pain would become unbearable, I would lose control, and I would utter our code word for "give me an epidural." That point, however, never came. Instead, it became impossible to relax through the contractions and I finally told Chris, "I think it's time to push." It turns out my instinct was right - I was dilated to ten centimeters and the baby was in position to come out.
Once it was time to push, the room filled with medical staff and equipment. Despite the flutter of activity, however, the room remained quiet and dimly lit. I recall the nurses quietly standing, watching, and waiting. The doula later informed me that when the nurses attempted to make small talk, the doctor quietly waived his finger to cut them off. I recall the respectful demeanor of the doctor, who sat patiently at the side of the bed with his legs crossed, quietly rocking to the music between contractions, and gently assuring me that I was making progress as I pushed. I recall the doula instructing me on how to effectively push, and the doctor calmly suggesting that I listen to the doula's instruction. I recall focusing on the songs playing between contractions and talking through the immense pressure on my lower body. I recall telling Chris between contractions that it hurt not to push. The doula and doctor immediately smiled and nodded in agreement, a small but powerful affirmation that I was doing something right.
After about half an hour of pushing harder than I ever imagined possible, Baby K entered the world. Chris announced Baby K's gender, and she was immediately placed on my chest, newborn goo and all. The rush of emotions and adrenaline that followed the final push and my first contact with Baby K was amazing.
Birthing Baby K was an extremely positive experience. Was it hard? Heck yeah! I had a face full of popped blood vessels and a body full of sore muscles to prove it. Was it painful? Of course! What woman doesn't dead menstrual cramps on speed and the infamous ring of fire? The pain was manageable, however, thanks to Chris' support, a knowledgeable doula, the right medical staff, and our birthing classes. I now know that with the right preparation, birthing a baby can be an empowering and beautiful experience.
I owe a huge thank you to Nicole Hoff, our birth doula; Dr. Lee, the OB/GYN; and Chris, a wonderfully supportive husband. Chris and I also owe a huge thank you to the staff at the hospital, who were so accommodating when Baby K had to stay longer than I did. Praise God for surrounding me with the right people and most importantly, praise God for a healthy baby girl.
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| Baby K, two days old. |
Friday, January 2, 2015
The Big Reveal
At the end of September, Chris and I painted the walls in the baby's room, which led to a discussion about replacing the carpet in the baby's room, which led to a discussion about replacing the carpet in the entire house, which led to a discussion about replacing the kitchen flooring, which led to a discussion about replacing the kitchen cabinets, which led to this:
That's my kitchen about two weeks into a remodel project that involved:
The last bit of major work was completed on December 18, although minor touch-ups continued through December 22. By December 24, I had almost everything back in place and had even managed to hang a few Christmas decorations. On December 25, Chris was the recipient of a generous Christmas gift, a new TV. By December 26, my living room was filled with dust and there were new holes in the wall to make room for wall mounts, plugs, switches, and hidden electrical wires. Three days later, on December 30, all work was finally complete.
Are you dying to see pictures of the newly remodeled Sias house? You are in luck because I have plenty of them. Before I post pictures of the finished project, however, pictures of my house pre-construction are mandatory.
I could post several in-between pictures showing various stages of exposed framing and wires, half-finished cabinetry, and the like. No one really enjoys the in-between stages, however, including the homeowners living through it. Those weeks are weeks I would like to completely erase from my memory. So, I'll just skip straight to the big reveal!!!!
Now that the house is back in order, I can finally focus on finishing the baby's room. Only five more weeks, give or take an unknown amount of time, until baby Sias enters the world.
That's my kitchen about two weeks into a remodel project that involved:
- Removing a wall between the kitchen and dining room;
- Removing a load bearing wall between the dining room and living room and replacing it with a support beam inside the attic;
- Closing in a door that provided access to the kitchen from the carport;
- Adding a door that provides access to the kitchen from the laundry room and carport;
- Moving the dryer vent and electrical to make room for a new door in the laundry room;
- Replacing wood paneling in the dining room with sheetrock;
- Adding a gas line in the kitchen to connect a gas cooktop;
- Moving electrical and water lines to a new location for the refrigerator;
- Replacing the cabinets, countertops, backsplash, sink, faucet, vent hood, cooktop, and microwave in the kitchen;
- Installing a stackable washing machine and dryer in the laundry room;
- Replacing all flooring in the kitchen, dining room, living room, hallway, and hall closet;
- Wiring and installing recessed lights in the kitchen and dining room; and
- Installing a new light fixture in the dining room.
While this list represents a thorough outline of major work done on the Sias house, it does not include the hiccups that are bound to accumulate during a remodel project. The more serious "hiccups" started with the general contractor's failure to obtain the required permit and escalated into a battle with incompetent painters and several random holes in our new sheet rock in search of a mysterious gas leak.
Also, note that the extensive list of work above does not include replacing the carpet in the baby's room, the impetus for our major remodel project. After expending large amounts of energy and money on the rest of the house, Chris and I drew the line at replacing the carpet in the baby's room. Because the baby's room was the only empty room in the house throughout our project, it became a staging and storage area for work taking place in the rest of the house. As a result, the baby's room went through various stages that rendered any ideas of replacing the carpet utterly unthinkable:
Are you dying to see pictures of the newly remodeled Sias house? You are in luck because I have plenty of them. Before I post pictures of the finished project, however, pictures of my house pre-construction are mandatory.
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| Looking into the kitchen from the far end of the dining room. |
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| The kitchen with the old door from the carport located to the left of the stove. |
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| Looking into the dining room from the kitchen. Note the walls separating the two rooms, as well as the wall on the right side of the dining room separating the dining room and living rom. |
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| Looking into the dining room from the kitchen. |
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| The living room. |
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| The finished kitchen! |
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| No walls between the kitchen and dining room! |
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| Looking at the dining room from the back of the kitchen. This flooring continues into the living room and hall as well. |
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| The new door leading from the laundry room into the kitchen. I love the little hidden cabinet by the door! |
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| My new light fixture and the recessed lights. I love it! |
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| No more walls between the kitchen, living room, and dining room. |
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| The living room feels soooo much bigger! |
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| I love that the new light fixture is visible from all three rooms! |
Doug's New Bed
I previously wrote about Doug's murphy bed. He still has a murphy bed. He also has a new bed. My mom helped me sew some curtains the weekend after Christmas. I learned a lot about sewing and finally felt confident to attempt my own sewing project, albeit on a much smaller scale. I think Doug's new bed turned out awesome, and he seems to like it as well.
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| My boys sleeping on New Year's Eve. |
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Pregnancy Progress - Week 35
If my due date is accurate and I carry baby Sias for 40 weeks, I have five weeks until D-day. Here's what's been going on in Kim's pregnant world.
Pregnancy changed around week 30. It was around this time that casual coworkers and even a few strangers began asking questions about my due date and the baby's gender. I finally looked round enough in the right places for people to be certain that I am pregnant.
Pregnancy changed around week 30. It was around this time that casual coworkers and even a few strangers began asking questions about my due date and the baby's gender. I finally looked round enough in the right places for people to be certain that I am pregnant.
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| At 20 weeks |
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At 23 weeks |
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| At 31 weeks |
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| At 34 weeks |
It was also around 30 weeks that I realized sooner, rather than later, I will meet baby Sias. This caused two reactions. First, I felt a sudden urge to "get things in order," which mostly caused anxiety given the state of chaos at home due to a major renovation project. Second, the thought of losing the constant connection between my baby and I made me sad. Part of me did not, and still does not, want baby Sias to come out. I want baby Sias to stay inside me, constantly connected to me, a part of me. I like feeling baby Sias move inside me. I like knowing that baby Sias is warm and cozy. I like that baby Sias is all mine, only mine. When I finally admitted my feelings to Chris, he lovingly called it a mother's bond. I like Chris's label better than my labels of over-protectiveness, anxiety, and selfishness.
At week 32, Chris and I saw baby Sias inside my womb in 3-D. I never planned on paying the extra money for a 3-D sonogram because honestly, 3-D photos of babies in the womb are simultaneously real enough and distorted enough to look pretty darn creepy. My doctor, however, does a sonogram at each visit and is able to switch easily to 3-D mode. While I still maintain that 3-D photos have a serious creepy factor to them, watching my baby move in 3-D was entirely different. Chris and I watched baby Sias open and close his/her tiny mouth, stick out his/her little tongue, and scrunch his/her little face. Seeing baby Sias move in 3-D, and seeing Chris' excitement as a result, made me excited about meeting baby Sias in a few weeks, even if part of me is still a little sad that I will lose the constant connection I've come to love.
As with most pregnancies, the last few weeks of my pregnancy have been marked by increased physical discomfort, difficulty sleeping, and random emotional instability (i.e. crying). This week I had dream that I forgot to breast feed my baby for a several days, as if my body and a newborn baby would silently and painlessly allow me to go days without breast feeding my baby. Instead of focusing on these things, however, I am focused on enjoying the exciting side of a first pregnancy. It's fun watching my stomach move uncontrollably, planning for the unexpected, and being the recipient of endless attention and special treatment. This is the part of pregnancy I want to remember, and the part of pregnancy I know I will miss in just a few short weeks.
Baby Shower
At the beginning of my third trimester, I traveled to Fort Worth for a baby shower hosted by my sisters-in-law. It was a beautiful shower, and I was so honored to have so many of my close friends and relatives in attendance. My paternal grandma, who lives in Seattle, surprised me by coming as well, which was definitely the highlight of the day. I love my grandma, and I love surprises.
I came back to the Valley full of gratitude and appreciation for the women in my life, and a carload of goodies.
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| My grandma and Mimi |
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| My beautiful mom, a grandma-to-be |
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| Silly games. |
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| Allt the lovely ladies |
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| The gracious hosts - my sisters-in-law |
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| My sister-in-law has a beautiful house |
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| High school pals |
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| Lovely, lovely, lovely |
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| I love this picture of Mimi and Riley, my cousin's daughter. |
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| The grandmas and grandma-to-be |
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| Heather wanted to take her first picture with the baby |
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| Tia Esperanza about to determine the baby's gender |
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| My cousins. |
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