While in San Francisco I saw bums holding the following signs:
1) "Starvin like Marvin." I instantly thought of my mom's cousin we used to call Starvin Marvin as well as the politically incorrect character from South Park.
2) "My wife has been kidnapped. I need 99 cents for her ransom." Really, you're going to make up a wife that's only worth 99 cents?
3) "I'm too ugly to get laid. I need money to pay for a prostitute." Ironically, I was so distracted by his sign that I did not give him a one-over to verify if he really was ugly. I guess I'll take his word for it.
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